Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize