I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
