Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
