Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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