I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
where does the pee come out of this thing
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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