Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
