shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
