I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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