i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize