Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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