Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Operation Purity has been aborted
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
