I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
My liver just had a heart attack.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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