somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
