finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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