I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Operation Purity has been aborted
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize