is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
