Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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