Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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