Small penises have feelings too.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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