he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
