Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
