Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
