this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
