And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
