she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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