Its about making memories worth repressing
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize