I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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