Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
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