No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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