Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize