"it" just moved
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
