my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
