Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
