Screwed.edu
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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