just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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