no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
