As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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