just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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