About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
