you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
