No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
