I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
