none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
