Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize