I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i will never coherently bang her
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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