did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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