I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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