thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
