it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize