'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
