I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
