Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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