No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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