She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize