Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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