i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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