You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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