My Higher Power is John Stamos
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize