my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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