They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
false alarm, still single
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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