I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize