I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
