Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
