So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
