physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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