You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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