it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
