I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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